When my long distance relationship started, there was so much to talk about. There were so many new things to learn about each other, and so much to share about what we wanted out of life.
About 3 months into our relationship, conversation started to dwindle down, and we talked more about our day at school/work/home. Then after awhile, talking on the phone was something we had just become accustomed to doing. It almost became a chore. We would call each other out of habit every night, but then have nothing much to talk about. We wanted to talk, but each phone call was boring, despite our being crazy over each other and completely in love.
We had talked ourselves out!
Many other couples in our long distance situation have gone through this same thing. You simply run out of things to talk about. To go from 4 hour phone calls filled with interesting and fun conversation, to running out of things to say after 10 minutes of being on the phone, isn’t rare, in fact it is quite common in LDRs. After all, LDR couples spend a lot of time on the phone, where the only thing you can do is talk, and eventually you’ll exhaust every topic you can possibly think to talk about.
Once a long distance relationship has reached this point, making it through this stage can be the make-or-break of the relationship. Some see it as a sign that the relationship isn’t working because they think that the other person has lost interest, or they have lost interest themselves.
Two years into my long distance relationship, I went and did something out desperation. There was an e-book I had seen online a few times called 1000 Questions for Couples. The book aims to help couples learn things about each other before marriage — but I saw it as a way to get meaningful and interesting conversation back into my relationship.
Of course I was skeptical at first, but at the time, I felt like my relationship was falling apart and was hanging on by a loose thread. My boyfriend and I had been fighting on the phone a lot because he would get bored and want to get off the phone after 5 minutes, but I wanted to talk to him longer despite having nothing to talk about. The stress was eating us alive.
The night after I bought the book, my boyfriend agreed to spend the night with me over the phone going through it asking and answering the questions in it. I initially was afraid I would bore him, but with each question he was coming to life, and I was coming to life. We were laughing, talking non-stop, and getting really in depth on some of the questions. Every once in awhile a single question would have us talking for 20 minutes straight! It was unbelievable. For once, both of us had a hard time saying goodnight when it was time for us to get some shut eye. We had had so much fun and were actually looking forward to the next night so we could talk again.
Even though this e-book was intended to encourage couples to get to know each other before marriage, I think it has great value to people in long distance relationships who have noticed their conversations have been suffering. You’ll think you have talked about everything you possibly could with your boyfriend/girlfriend until you have read the 1000 questions in this book.
Thought I’d share this wonderful resource with other long distance relationship couples who are going through the same situation I found myself in.