If I asked you to picture the stereotypical man who was cheating, you might describe someone who is always late, who is cold and distant, and who is presently distracted with activities like hiding his cell phone, and washing his own clothes to hide any evidence of their extracurricular activities. Typically it’s thought that this man has one foot out the door of his relationship and isn’t currently invested in his wife or girlfriend.
And, some of these stereotypical emotions and behaviors are completely accurate. A man who is cheating can and usually is somewhat distracted and isn’t acting like his usual self. But, this might not always manifest itself in negative behaviors. Sometimes, the way a cheating man acts is actually preferable to his usual self, which is why you can sometimes be blindsided. In the following article, I’ll discuss some of the various behaviors you might see in a man who is cheating.
His Attention And Time Allocation Is Different: Much of the time, the guy who is cheating is going to be with you less. This is because he has to make time to be with the other woman. However, some guys are better able to cover this than others. (Some will cheat while they are supposed to be at work or school or the gym, etc.) And some will overcompensate for their time away with giving you more attention and being more loving when they are present. But, whether you see that he’s paying you more or less attention, most women usually notice some sort of difference.
Something Has Changed About The Atmosphere Or The Connection Between You: This is one of those intangible type of things which you often can’t quite place your finger on or directly pinpoint. But, you still know that it’s there. It’s just a change in the atmosphere and in the connection that you feel between you. Something is off or changing. Sure, he might try to overcompensate and there may even be a time where things feel better for the short term. But, at the end of the day, one party in a partnership can’t be betraying the other without these things changing the way the cheating partner relates to the faithful one. And again, whether this comes across as positive or negative, it’s usually at least noticeably different.
Changes In His Enthusiasm In The Bedroom Or When Showing You Affection: Most people assume that when a man is cheating, he’s no longer sexually interested in or feeling affection towards his wife or girlfriend. This can sometimes be true. But it’s most definitely not always the case. Some men actually show more interest and generate more of a spark. Who knows whether they’re trying to overcompensate, throw you off the trail, or if all of their new activity has also changed their libido.
But it’s certainly not uncommon for a cheating man to show more sexual interest in his wife or girlfriend while he is actively cheating. Sure, some women notice a definite lag or lack of interest in sexual activity, but not seeing this doesn’t always mean that he isn’t cheating. Sometimes, it means the opposite, depending on the man.
He’s Secretive, Defensive, Or Critical: Most women who are dealing with a man who is cheating do notice him being more secretive than usual. He may be hiding his cell phone, trying to text in private, or deleting his emails, internet history or messages. In general, you’ll just notice that he’s no longer the open book that he used to be. He might be looking over his shoulder or closing the door behind him. He may prefer more privacy when he showers or grooms.
He may also be quite defensive if you question him or comment about the changes that you’re noticing (even if you’re not making accusations.) This is usually because he’s trying to be very aware of your suspicions and is trying to keep himself in check. Sometimes, he’s defensive because he’s feeling a bit guilty. You may also notice that he’s particularly critical of you or suddenly takes things in the wrong way even when you intend things differently. Sometimes, this is his attempt to justify his own behavior and other times, he’s seeing things that aren’t there because of his own paranoia.
The bottom line is that different men act differently when cheating because each person’s personality and the way in which they deal with their deception is unique. Generally speaking though, whether their behaviors are more negative or positive than what you are used to, there’s generally very little doubt that you are noticing changes that just seem troublesome or odd.