For many people, me included, internet dating has resulted not just in finding new friends, but also in marriage.
For others, it has been disappointing experience, where they have given up in frustration.
Obviously, it depends on what sort of relationship you want. Dating sites vary from the “adult” variety, to the sites catering more for those who want a serious commitment. This article is concerned with the latter.
So why does it work for some and not others? Obviously there is no definitive answer to this question, as we are all different, particularly in choice of mate and expectation. However, having found my partner online after some two years online, I do have some suggestions for those experiencing little success and who feel like giving up.
1. Choose Your Dating Site With Care.
Even those sites that cater for those seeking a serious relationship vary greatly. If you can, the best thing to do is find someone who is happy with a particular site and join that one.
This is because there is always a suspicion, (others may say a certainty), that some of the replies you get, and indeed some of the profiles you see posted, are fake on some sites. This can make it seem like you have a lot of admirers, but is frustrating as you find that these “people” contact you once, but never reply.
2. Avoid “See Your Matches Today Free” Type Introductory Offers.
To boost membership, some sites will offer a no charge trial, just so you can see your potential matches. Very often this is combined with a series of messages in your inbox, which you can only read if you take out a paid membership subscription. The problem is, sometimes, and it’s happened to me many times, once you pay up, all this interest dries up.
In fact some sites actually put in the terms and conditions that employees are sometimes used to send messages, to make it seem like you are getting interest that you are not. They hope no one reads the small print.
3. Buy A Sim Card.
Never give out your main telephone number, ever. This is basic security. Whilst I have never had a problem with anyone I’ve met online and then in person, you never know who you are meeting. True, the internet means that you will have exchanged emails and spoken several times on the phone (if you are sensible), but no matter how well you get on, security should be paramount.
By buying a cheap sim card and using that number, you can always simply throw the card, and therefore the number away, without losing the number you want to keep, if by some chance your date turns out to be a stalker!
Get a spare email address as well for the same reason.
4. Get Your Picture Vetted.
In my case, I thought I had uploaded a fantastic picture of myself. However, everyone I met commented how much better I looked in real life than in my photo. In fact my fiancee (who I met online) laughs about the photos now, saying they were awful and didn’t even look like me!
So make sure you get your picture approved by a friend first! If not, you are at a disadvantage.
5. Be Careful With Your Profile.
All dating sites get you to fill in a profile with details of yourself. They also offer suggestions as to what to put.
Do not use them!
As a man, I got to the stage where I thought that if I saw another female profile that said that they wanted to take their children to walk the Machu Picchu Trail, or that they liked long walks on a stormy beach, I would literally scream!
So what? Everyone seems to write this sort of stuff. It’s lame and obvious, with a false sense of gravitas.
Be different; just write “chocolate” or something as an answer to every question – (it worked for me, that’s what my fiancee put).
So to sum up, choose your site, preferably a referral, protect your identity, upload a good photograph and sound original. They are out there somewhere, but you have to work to find them!