So you’re dating online and you meet a guy you think you might really like. You start emailing back and forth, and you have great “email chemistry.” Things are going great . . . except you still have not met this guy in person. This leads to the one of the most common questions I receive from women who seek online dating tips from me: When you meet a guy online, how long should you wait to meet him in person?
Let me give you the short answer first (and one of the most valuable and important online dating tips you’ll ever receive): You should not wait long at all. Allow me to explain what I mean and why this is right answer.
Here is a scenario I see female clients of mine experience more times than I can count. A woman meets a guy online and they begin emailing . . . for weeks (or even months). When the issue of meeting finally is raised, tentative plans are made to meet and the guy either cancels or simply does not show up for the meeting.
So the first of my online dating tips to women is always that you should only email back and forth with a guy twice before you exchange phone numbers and get on the phone with him. Getting on phone is very important so that you can determine by your voices whether or not there is some chemistry between you.
After that is where the next of the “top of my list” online dating tips comes into play: Once you’ve had a phone conversation with a guy you meet online and establish that you indeed have chemistry with each other over the phone, you should arrange a meeting right away. There is a very good reason for this.
When you email back and forth with a guy for any period of time longer than a couple days without meeting him in person, you are (with few exceptions) just wasting your time. Not only that, you are very often leading yourself to great disappointment or hurt. You can avoid much of this by following this most important of online dating tips and insisting on a meeting as the next interaction after that first phone call. Let me explain further why this is true.
I have found that a lot of men who want to exchange emails with women for a long period of time but are hesitant to agree to a meeting, are guys who are the Internet to find a woman with whom to cheat on their wives or girlfriends. What they are doing is having a “mental affair” with you via email while they are still living with their wife or girlfriend.
So I give as top among my online dating tips for women the “rule” to always insist upon a meeting after no more than a couple emails and a phone call, so as to avoid what guys like this do over and over again to women they meet online. What these “mental affair” guys will do is to try and put a meeting off as long as they can, then they will finally agree to get together only to back out of (or sometimes not show up at all for) the meeting. Most times the woman will never know why he did that, and will end up very hurt and confused.
Regardless of what is going on with the guy, another reason that you should follow this online dating tip and not engage in a prolonged email relationship is because you often end up wasting your time and emotion on someone with whom you will not end up connecting. When you get into an emailing only type of relationship, you are engaging in a “mental affair” with a person you have never met. Until you meet a guy in person, you will never know if you actually share any kind of chemistry or connection. Staying in the false “email relationship” only achieves the outcome of having you invest a lot of your time, emotion and effort on someone you may not even be interested in once you meet him.
So if you follow no other online dating tips, follow this one: Exchange a couple emails, get on the phone and then, if you’re still interested, get together with him right away. This is the easiest, most time efficient and most satisfying way to date online because it allows you determine quickly if a guy you meet online is someone you want to spend time with offline.
Remember that you are not dating online to find a pen pal. You are online looking for someone with whom you can spend time, have a relationship and potentially even marry. If you would like additional free online dating tips, go to http://www.davidwygant.com/attractingmen.html