It’s important to have positive energy to attract your best mate while dating. Below are ten steps you can take to do so. Like attracts like, so if you are conscious about your energy and are authentic, you will draw in someone who appreciates who you really are.
1. BE POSITIVE ABOUT LOVE: Challenge your negative beliefs about dating. Take a piece of paper and write down every limiting belief that you have about dating and the opposite sex and find an exception to it. These beliefs could be holding you back from letting love in. For example:
(limiting belief) ‘Meeting ‘the One’ should happen naturally.’
(challenge) ‘I have to work at school, finding a job and apartment, why not finding a mate?’
(limiting belief) ‘It is only fun to date someone who is really right for you.’
(challenge) ‘Meeting any new person can be fun with the right attitude.’
2. LIKE YOURSELF (if you want others to like you):
Dating often makes us feel miserable because we judge ourselves the whole time. You can hardly hear the other person because your mind chatter says, ‘If only I was thinner, I’d feel ready to date’ or ‘How can he like me if I don’t know a lot about politics?’ Remind yourself why you are a good catch and speak to yourself in a way that works. Everyone has things to improve on … but there are so many wonderful things about you. Why not concentrate on that? It will help you stay present and positive.
3. FLOW POSITIVE ENERGY TO ALL DATES: Look for something good about all your dates. You don’t have to marry him. We often judge our date from the first minute: ‘Is he tall enough? Is he husband material?’ Notice when you do this, take a deep breath and allow yourself to look for something good so you both enjoy your time together even more.
4. BE OPEN TO POSSIBILITY: It takes awhile to know what is going on with anything in life, so let things evolve. Do you drive yourself crazy when he doesn’t call the next day and instead calls in two? Do you try to control every aspect of what he’ll do instead of just letting the relationship unfold? Notice when you do this and be willing to be surprised. Keep busy with your own life and let things happen over time.
5. HAVE A POWERFUL DATING CONTEXT: Most people consider dating a necessary misery. If expectations create outcomes, why not expect to have fun? Create a dating context that will serve you no matter what happens. For example, ‘I will learn something valuable from every person I meet.’ Then make it your business to do so.
6. TRY NEW THINGS: Date outside your comfort zone and be willing to give different people a chance. Dating requires some adventure. Perhaps you have gone to clubs but you have never tried speed dating or online dating? Think ‘outside the box’ and be willing to try at least 5 new approaches in dating and meet new types of dates.
7. RECEIVE: LEARN FROM EVERYONE: Everyone you meet is a master in disguise. We are all here to learn. Often people think that dating is a waste of time when they do not meet ‘Mr. or Mrs. Right’ but you never know why you meet someone. A date could become a colleague, a friend, could teach you something about travel, business or yourself. Think of the world as one large classroom where you can learn and grow. You are there anyway, so why not make the most of it? Think of one way that date taught you something that you can take with you.
8. SHARE WHAT YOU LOVE: It is easy to be shy and protective before you know someone but practice revealing yourself on dates. People are their best when discussing something they love, whether it is their job, volunteer work, travel etc. Let yourself be known and the right mate will stick around.
9. BE WILLING TO BE SURPRISED: Often in my classes I’ll interview someone about themselves for five minutes, simulating a date. I am always pleasantly surprised afterwards when the class points out all the positive things about that individual. Sometimes a shy older man will reveal that he was taking a 101 day cruise around the world and was a pilot. Do not assume you can tell who someone is from their appearance. If you look for what lights someone up, you will leave them feeling great and you will enjoy your time more too.
10. TAKE ACTION ON WHAT YOU WANT: Walk your talk when it comes to love. So many singles think they can just sit around in their pajamas and the right person will ring their bell and find them. There may be ‘fate’ but do you want to be lonely in the meantime? If you want to meet a great companion then you need to go out! Make a choice to go to social functions, classes etc at least twice a week if you really want to meet your life mate. You can read the back of my book for a list of singles resources and ideas.