For better or worse, some women seem to always be attracted to married men. If you’re this type of woman, it may be somewhat frustrating or confusing for you. When you think about it though, it does make some sense. Married men put off a stability vibe. And in today’s modern day world, stability is important yet rare.
Now I won’t go into the moral and ethical issues of dating married men here. Instead, we’ll look at some tips and advice for women who date married men.
1. Prepare yourself mentally. Dating a married man can be an emotional rollercoaster. Whether we like it or not, his first commitment is usually to his wife and family. You’re an afterthought… or worse: A fleeting amusement.
It takes a certain type of mental toughness to deal with being in this position. Be honest with yourself: Are you sure you’re cut out for it?
2. Understand what you want. When you decide to date a married man, you must also be completely honest with yourself about what you really want from this relationship. Do you want a romantic relationship of some kind or just a casual friend-style date? If you want a relationship, where do you see it going? Are you hoping he’ll leave his wife for you? Do you just want sex once in awhile? Do you just want someone to cuddle with in front of the TV?
If you’re honestly just looking for sex or casual friend-style dating, you’re much less likely to be hurt by the man’s commitment to his wife. And it won’t bother you much when you go for weeks without seeing or hearing from him.
If on the other hand, you’re hoping he’ll someday leave his wife for you, you could be setting yourself up for amazing heartbreak. Some men do leave their wives for the other woman but it’s rare. Some guys will be completely honest from the start, and tell you they’ll never leave her. Then there are the guys who tell you they will leave, just because it’s what you want to hear. They have no intention of leaving their wife, they tell you this just to keep you hanging on and hoping.
3. Analyze your attraction. Sometimes women will date married men because they feel “safe” – either emotionally, physically, or both. Married men seem safe physically because women assume they’ve only been with their wife physically for a number of years. And since they haven’t slept around, they’re not likely to have any sexual related diseases.
Think about this a minute though; if he’s willing to sleep with you, how do you know he hasn’t done so with many other women the whole time he’s been married?
On the emotional side of things, dating a married guy can feel “safe” because you don’t have to worry about having a committed relationship. You don’t have to decide whether you want to be faithful, and for that matter you don’t have to agonize over whether he’s being faithful. You already know the answer to that. And because you already have that answer, you feel there’s less room to be hurt by him in the future.
Moral and ethical issues notwithstanding, dating married men can create massive amounts of confusion and complication in your life. If you really want to do this though, be sure you’re 100% honest with yourself on all points before moving forward.