We human beings have the most complex thing in the physical universe between our ears: the human brain. Together, the brain, body and soul make us up as human beings. Given the complexity of our minds, it is no wonder that our behavior is sometimes surprising – or even perplexing.
Strange and odd behaviors abound in each one of us – sane and a little crazy alike. The fact is that people just do weird things now and then.
One such behavior is that of being in the habit of hiding things from one’s spouse. You may have found that your husband hides information, money, or things from you. What could that be about? The suspense may be driving you nuts.
If you are wondering, “Why does my husband hide things from me?”, here are 5 steps possible causes:
1. Your husband may have a documented neurosis:
A neurosis is mental and emotional disorder that is not nearly as serious as its distant cousin, the psychosis. However, a neurosis can affect a person’s behavior in many ways.
In her book “Self Analysis” (1942), psychoanalytic theorist Karen Horney developed one of the best known theories of neurosis. According to her theory, a neurosis comes from someone having a basic anxiety about interpersonal relationships.
Notably, among the 10 main neurotic needs that she classified were two that sound very consistent with the tendency to hide things habitually: #3: the need to remain inconspicuous and unnoticed, and #9: the need to exhibit a “loner” mentality in order to distance oneself from others and not feel dependent on other people.
Whether or not your husband has a bona fide neurosis is only something a good psychoanalyst can answer for sure, but if you feel that his hiding behavior is more innocent than it is malicious, consider this possibility seriously.
2. He has a psychological need to keep parts of his life private:
Quite apart from a neurosis but still psychological in origin, your husband may simply have been raised in a very private family where everyone kept things separate and private. If his hiding behavior is not only a recent phenomenon but rather is something he has done more or less since you met him, this is also a strong candidate for the reason he does what he does.
3. He suspects you have been pulling back lately:
If you think about it, the tendency to hide things has the effect of creating a sense of separation and reduces feelings of closeness. If your husband has felt lately that you have been pulling back from him emotionally, he may be doing this as a self-defensive way to protect himself from getting hurt by you.
4. He is suspicious of you:
Do you feel that you and your husband have a trusting relationship? If he is feeling suspicious of you for any reason, he may be trying to cover his tracks to protect himself from the unknown of what you are up to.
5. He is finding ways to distance himself from you:
Now, turning to a possible reason that has more to do with your husband hiding things because he has something to hide: your husband may making plans to leave you or he is having an affair. Of course, this is by far the least-desirable reason among the 5, but if the others do not check out then you need to face the possibility of this being the case.
Consider these 5 possible causes of your husband hiding things from you. If you feel that the reason has to do with #3-#5 above, you need to get to work on your relationship right away. Do what it takes to get help to get things back on the right track in your world.