A woman took to Reddit to seek advice about her brother’s reaction to she and her family being unable to attend his destination wedding.
She explained that due to “multiple valid reasons” her grandparents, parents, brother, aunt and younger brother’s girlfriend were unable to make the trip.
MarthaStewart.com suggested that before booking a destination wedding, it is important to make sure the couple’s “VIPS,” like family and closest friends, are able to join to avoid any disappointment. The site also said that with destination weddings, about 50 percent of guests invited will actually be able to make it.
The Redditor said her grandparents were too old, her mother is fighting breast cancer and her father takes care of her and her older brother and aunt are both doctors who have busy schedules and also have to be “extra careful.”
She said she and her brother’s girlfriend were either very pregnant or dealing with a newborn making the trip just not possible.
The rest of the family, she said, either could not afford it or was unable to take two weeks off from work
On the Reddit thread, “Am I The A*****e,” the woman who wrote from the username throwawaynotafan said though she tried to explain the situation to her brother months before, his response was: “[Our] wedding, our rules. Don’t like it don’t come,” she wrote.
“We asked to be able to help in anyway we could but a few weeks before the wedding their attitudes changed we [were] told they’d prefer to go low contact because we weren’t coming to the wedding, which meant we didn’t support their marriage,” she wrote.
She said she even “begged” to let her pay for the bridesmaids’ dress but the brother said he didn’t want her money, he wanted her at the wedding.
“I tried to explain to him, his wedding was 4 days before my due date. He ended up screaming at me calling me a spoiled entitled brat than blocking me.”
She said he had similar outbursts to other members of the family resulting in even their father cutting off contact to his son.
After the wedding, the family found out that the mother, who had been battling breast cancer, had just six months to live. The family decided to come together for a meal. She wrote that while at dinner no one showed any interest in hearing about the wedding or seeing photos and acted coldly toward the brother and his new wife.
“My brother ended up getting us [siblings] alone to ask us why we [were] being [d**ks.] My youngest brother told him tonight wasn’t the time than [sic] walked out, oldest said when mom died he would never speak to him again but due to the fact I’m his only sister he seem [sic] more mad/upset at me I told them ‘you got your big day now you have to deal with the consequences,'” she wrote.
She said after the family dinner, her brother reached out to say he felt rejected that his family did not attend the wedding and then did not apologize afterward.
Newsweek reached out to throwawaynotafan for comment.
Comments flooded in supporting the Redditor and her family saying the brother’s actions were out of line.
“[N]othing stopped him from having a second ceremony,” one commenter wrote. “He’s mad the wedding was impossible for the family to attend due to timing, location, and current state of the world and is lashing out for everyone not doing the impossible for him.”
“I can’t believe that he had the audacity to tell OP that she rejected his destination wedding when she was 86 hours off from giving birth,” another wrote.
Other commenters highlighted that the poster likely would not have been able to fly so close to her due date as many airlines restrict it.
United Airlines said that after a person’s 36th week of pregnancy they would need documentation from an obstetrician clearing them for travel signed within three days of flight departure. The baby’s due date must also be after the last flight on the itinerary.
British Airways policy stated that passengers cannot fly after their 36th week of pregnancy if pregnant with a single baby. If the passenger is pregnant with more than one baby, they cannot fly after 32 weeks.