A man on Reddit recently became engaged to his fiancée, a woman he met on a dating app two years ago. However, a disagreement over their relationship’s origin story has left them in uncertainty.
A post describing the uncomfortable situation has gone viral in Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” forum, amassing 12,000 upvotes and 4,100 comments at the time of writing.
According to the anonymous man, known only as u/chasingyourvision, his wife-to-be wants him to lie to her friends and family about how they met —a demand that makes the Redditor uncomfortable, especially considering that the lie itself makes him sound like “a total creep.”
Though online dating has carried some stigmas around it in the past, today, it’s the most common way for people to meet their significant others. According to Statista, using data compiled by Stanford University researchers, 39 percent of couples in 2017 met online. Meanwhile, every other category (including meeting at bars and restaurants, through work, school, mutual friends, or family) trailed behind.
Regardless, the Redditor’s fiancée is adamant that her friends and family do not find out that she and her soon-to-be husband met on a dating app. Not only that: she has a specific (and false) story that she would like him to share instead.
“She keeps telling me that during the wedding she wants me to give a ‘speech’ talking about how I met her while she was working at a coffee shop and I was so attracted to her that it was love at first sight and I immediately asked her to be my girlfriend,” he wrote. “She says that this makes her look better … if I say that she was so beautiful that I immediately asked her out.”
To clarify, he added: “She is saying I have to say that I asked her to be my GF right at the counter without even having any sort of conversation with her first.”
Seeing as that is sort of an odd way to start a relationship, the Redditor feels “very uncomfortable with this untrue version of events.”
“I am happy to say she is beautiful and that I really love her personality and that we had a great connection, but I am uncomfortable with this portrayal of myself as some sort of creep who asked a complete stranger to be my girlfriend,” he explained.
The lies, apparently, don’t end there. According to u/chasingyourvision, he inherited a house from his grandparents, but his fiancée wants him to tell a different story—”that [he himself] paid for and ‘bought her’ the house because she is so special.”
“After I said no, she has been saying that I care more about the opinions of other people than how she feels …. She is reconsidering if she wants to be with someone who isn’t on her side,” he said, before asking: “Do I have a point or does she?”
To conclude the post, u/chasingyourvision noted: “She knows that my friends and family know I inherited the house and that we met on a dating app, but she says I have to warn them not to say anything and pretend to believe me at the wedding. She gave me an ultimatum that we won’t get married if I don’t agree and hasn’t talked to me for days.”
Readers rushed to the Redditor’s defense in the comments section.
“SHE cares what other people think, that’s why you need to change the narrative,” wrote u/holy_roman_emperor. “She’s ashamed of the dating app and doesn’t like [that] you didn’t buy your own house.”
“Big red flags here,” echoed u/curiousbelgian. “You can easily turn the truth into a cute story, and you should work on that together. What other lies has she told her friends and family? Indeed, what other lies has she told you?”
Many, meanwhile, simply advised the Redditor to cancel his engagement and “run.”
“OP needs to run,” wrote u/SportsPhotoGirl. “Fast. And not look back.”
“Let. Her. Leave,” commented u/IdlyBrowsing. “You will spend your life giving in to blackmail or end up with an expensive divorce otherwise.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/chasingyourvision for additional comment.