Internet Slams Man Who ‘Can’t Run The House’ Like His Wife, Brings Gender Roles Into Play

A man took to Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” forum to seek wisdom from the internet at large. In the now-viral post, the man known as @Ashamed_To_Say_ explained that he retired and his wife returned to the workforce.

“This has created a bit of an awkward dynamic since I have 0 experience doing chores (we got married and moved in together when we were 18, and before that I lived with my mom),” he wrote. “So I legitimately have never had to lift a finger at home til recently.”

He continued: “My wife packed my lunch and kissed me goodbye for 47 years. She was a bit shocked to discover I won’t be doing the same. She’s had to teach me how to cook, since I had very little experience doing it (none actually), now the only thing I can do well is clean. So that is not an issue. But everything else that she used to do I’m just not capable of. She’s been less than understanding…I feel that we should maybe split the chores”

The man said they argued because his wife feels he can’t do what she did “for almost 50 years” After swarms of commenters replied with their thoughts, he later clarified to add that he “was not expected to help in any way before this.”

He continued: “To everyone saying she was working full time and doing everything: She was a SAHM/SAHW for a huge majority of our 50 year marriage, and 55 year relationship. I’d say she worked (outside the home) for about 7 years total in that time.”

The poster ended his lengthy story by pointing out “all of a sudden she expects me to attempt to play housewife.” All the while, he also admitted “it’s not as easy as she made it look.”

Though women typically stayed home decades ago, it’s not necessarily the case anymore. Men have taken to the stay-at-home role more than ever before. Still, Gallup reported that 66% of U.S. adults prefer to work. The percentage of women is around 56% and 75% of men.

The post struck a nerve. Many chimed in to dissect society’s gender norms.

Happy home
A husband points out an interesting article to his wife as she carries on with her sewing, circa 1940.
FPG/Getty Images

“If you ate a packed lunch for 47 years (plus all the years your mommy packed your lunch), how in the world could you not know how to pack a lunch? My goodness, just ask your wife to put together a list of what she’d like in her lunches and mix & match from that. My in-laws are in their 70s and had a very traditional marriage, but my FIL knew how to make dinner. Here you are on Reddit…if you can figure that out, you can find videos on YouTube to teach you how to cook dinner, do laundry, and even pack a lunch. YTA,” @columbospeugeot said in the top commenter spot. It’s garnered over 29,000 upvotes so far.

“Hmm. I suspect the reason that he wasn’t paying attention to anything she was doing for him was because he was either in the other room watching television or outside doing something else. Tinkering in his workshop pursuing one of his pet projects. In the recliner reading the paper. You know. Relaxing. Sigh,” @greatplainsskater wrote.

“Boy did this guy come to the wrong place for sympathy,” @Frodo_Picard said.

“I mean, I believe that they don’t know what the problem is. They thought everything was fine and everyone was feeling fulfilled and loved their life. Isn’t this what women long to do with all their being – just take care of their man???? (The last bit is sarcasm),” @LimitlessMegan added.

And finally, “This lazy babied man must make his wife realise why has she wasted all these years in this marriage. He’s just ‘not capable’. If my dad, who is older and emigrated from a misogynist third world country, can learn how to do chores then so can this guy. How can he be so utterly useless that he can’t do any chores and expects his poor wife to work all day and come home to split chores?” @Dashcamkitty said.

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