A man is seeking the judgment of Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” forum after a money-related conflict with his girlfriend. The post, which has amassed nearly 12,000 upvotes and over 4,300 comments, speaks to the toll that financial strain can take on an otherwise-happy couple.
For context, “financial ‘infidelity’ is enough to end 2 in 5 relationships,” reported Business Wire in February, citing a survey by the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants. Moreover, “nearly half of American couples experiencing financial tension admit it’s had a negative impact on intimacy with their partner.”
The report added that younger Americans (aged 18-34) were more likely to end a relationship due to financial tensions compared to their older counterparts.
In this particular scenario, the anonymous 27-year-old man, known only as
u/AITA__Breakfast4543, said he’s been dating his 24-year-old girlfriend for seven months. Though the two don’t live together, she reportedly stays over at his home “regularly.”
Two days prior to writing the post, the Redditor said “she spent the night at [his] place.” However, while he was still asleep, “she got up, got dressed, took [his credit card] and went grocery shopping with it.” Later in the post, he added that she had forgotten her wallet, thus prompting her to use his.
“I woke up to a massive breakfast made by her as a surprise and when I asked how she got money and time to prepare all that she told me she took my [credit card],” he explained.
“I was stunned,” continued the Redditor. “I asked why she didn’t ask before taking my [credit card] and she said I was sleeping and she didn’t want to bother me.” Additionally, she hoped that the breakfast would “be a surprise,” he said.
The Redditor wrote that he “just stared” at her and then said: “I don’t know, you do realize you technically stole from me when you took my [credit card] and went shopping…without my consent, right?”
“She looked at me in complete shock and confusion and said that she was just trying to do something nice for me and I just implied that she was a thief,” wrote the man. “I just shrugged and said it was technically true.”
“She was so upset she got [up] and stormed out [of] the kitchen crying,” he said. As she gathered her things to leave, she reportedly told him that he “was out of line to say she stole from [him] just because she forgot her wallet at home.”
“She kept hanging up when I tried calling her and later sent me money for the stuff she bought although she didn’t take anything with her,” he added.
Later the Redditor said his sister came over—and upon hearing about the incident, she told her brother that his reaction made him “an ungrateful jerk with no manners.”
Readers didn’t hesitate to weigh in on the Redditor’s situation—and it appears that the majority of commenters have taken his side.
User u/LLizard55, for example, called the girlfriend’s act “a huge violation.” Many more called it “theft.”
“She was a thief. She stole from him,” commented u/urzu_seven. “You don’t take other [people’s] money without their permission.”
Others, however, felt that the Redditor overreacted, especially given that she had forgotten her wallet, paid him back afterward, and used the groceries to surprise him with breakfast. “I don’t get the sense the girlfriend was being malicious,” wrote u/whim17. “I think she really wanted to do a kindness for her boyfriend but really fumbled the execution.”
Added u/1800TurdFerguson: “Your response was over the top…It was also deeply unkind.”
Others pointed out that while the Redditor was “technically” in the right, his communication style likely escalated the situation further. “You both can have different boundaries and that’s okay, just gotta make sure you talk about it,” said u/DaOneSavvyPanda. “Calling a loved one a thief for a simple mistake is more [of] an a**hole move than what the girlfriend did.”
Newsweek reached out to u/AITA__Breakfast4543 for comment.