So, A few decades ago, I went from 70 to 0 too fast one night and ended up in the hospital with a pen in my teeth signing a form on a clipboard held over my head that they could cut off both of my hands and my right leg because they were all so mangled that there was a less than 50% chance of them being saved.
18 hours of surgery and I woke up with everything I went in there with (and a few extra metal parts to boot) but it took years and a couple of dedicated physical therapists (whom I lovingly refer to as “Helga and Ursula the Bitch-Goddesses”) for me to be able to walk and use my reconstructed hands.
I’ve had 4 follow up surgeries since then and I can now walk without a limp but it’s still difficult to walk very far without pain so I have a handicapped placard on my car. I found out real quick that there’s an attitude among handicapped placard owners. They all seem to think that they’re more deserving than you of the spot that you just parked in. That plus FedEx drivers use them indiscriminately.
My first experience with FedEx was when I went to get my name registered on the sewer and water utilities for the house we just moved to. There was only one handicapped spot and a FedEx delivery truck was parked in it. So I parked sideways and blocked him in then hobbled my way into the building with my cane. (I was still in physical therapy then)
About 5 minutes later, I see the FedEx guy come up:
FedEx Guy: Who owns the Silver Infinity outside?
Me: That would be me
FedEx guy: You’re blocking me in
Me: You parked in the handicapped spot
FedEx guy: I was only going to be there a few minutes
Me: Well now you’re going to be there until I finish my business here.
FedEx guy: You can’t do that!
Me: We can call the sheriff and see which one of us gets a ticket.
But the Entitled Bitch portion of the story happened a few years later. By then, I was able to walk without my cane and I had encountered more than one of these so I knew what was about to happen and I had prepared my response ahead of time.
I had just parked and gotten out of my car and was walking into Wally World when I see the Cadillac moving slowly by with the window rolling down and the EB about to lay out her case on why she deserved my spot and I didn’t.
EB: What’s your problem?
Me: Excuse me?
EB: You don’t look like you’re handicapped.
Me: Thank you! I’ve worked really hard to be able to walk without a limp
EB: I don’t think you’re really handicapped.
Me: You could have stopped talking after the first three words of that last sentence and been entirely correct.
EB: So what’s wrong with you?
Me: *sigh* If you must know, I lost my foot in an accident.
EB: Really? How did that happen?
Me: I broke it off in some nosey bitch’s ass!