A woman who caught her husband cheating with a co-worker is being praised online for her “icy cold savagery.”
On Thursday, 26-year-old Redditor PotentialRelevant417 shared her unusual response to her 32-year-old husband’s affair with the subreddit /rTrueOffMyChest, where she was applauded by users for her “IDGAF” attitude.
She began her post, which already has more than 16,000 upvotes and almost 2,000 comments, by explaining she’d walked in on her husband and his co-worker in their bedroom—but her reaction wasn’t what he’d expected:
“On Friday, I (26F) caught my husband (32M) with his coworker, in our bedroom.
“I didn’t feel shocked, I had suspected it for a while but he waved it away.
“After the incident, he had been on his best behavior for four days and finally wanted to talk to me about it. I told him I was ok with it, and he was shocked, he cried and was angry, asking if I never loved him in the first place because apparently, he did.”
The Redditor admitted that she found her husband’s reaction “really ironic,” since he was the one who’d been unfaithful. Her husband didn’t see it that way, though.
She continued: “I find it extremely ironic, given he was the one who’s been cheating on me for over a year. To be clear about the situation, I am not polygamous/polyamorous or interested in having a threeway in any sense.”
She also explained that she doesn’t want to divorce her husband and doesn’t see the situation as a dealbreaker.
She said: “Our life is nice. We paid off the house. No kids yet. I make enough to support myself in case we get divorced.
“I just don’t want to. I like him, and I don’t care if he went on a bus of hookers to Vegas (as long as he doesn’t bring home some STD).
“I’m not interested in sleeping with anyone else, sexually or romantically, but I don’t mind if he has sex with a dozen of other people as long as he comes at night and sleeps besides me.
“He has been crying/ screaming everytime he calls me, because he drove out to the motel after I told him this, saying he hates himself and there is something extremely wrong with me.”
According to the Institute for Family Studies, 20 percent of married men and 13 percent of married women have reported cheating on their spouse. Married men over 30 are also more likely to cheat than their wives, with the “gender gap” between male and female cheaters rising as couples age.
Although her reaction might seem unconventional, fellow Redditors commended the woman for her cool and frank response—and for knowing what she wants.
Jadeitejen said: “I wish I could be at even half this level of unbothered in life.”
DaLoCo913 commented: “Nice way to say IDGAF. If this is you, then so be it, as long as you are happy.”
While U_PassButter asked: “Like OP can you do a Ted-Talk about this level of icy cold savagery. I want lessons.”
Many users suggested the reason the poster’s husband was unhappy with her response was because she’d “bruised his ego.”
BearJ_the_first said: “She pulled the reverse card on him and it really f***** with him. I like her style.”
gorkt agreed, adding: “Maybe he banged the side chick in his own home thinking he would get caught and have two women fighting for him.”
rowanhenry commented: “Yeah I think it’s a power play. Maybe he cheats because he enjoys the thrill of getting away with whatever he wants. When he realized his wife doesn’t care, suddenly she has all the power.”
Responding to some of the comments on the thread, PotentialRelevant417 said she does understand where her husband is coming from, but that she isn’t purposefully “trying to mess with him.”
She explained: “I kind of get where he’s coming from, he wants me to be mad at him and react, but I just don’t feel like it.
“Its making me question how much I actually cared about him, but I decided that there is no point in getting divorced. It felt very strange.
“I’m genuinely not trying to mess with him. I’d be upset if he eloped with someone, but just sleeping around? Eh.
“I don’t think I devotedly love him. He’s just ‘not bad’. Just seperating over something that doesn’t bother me this much seems much more of a hassle. But I would be bothered if he was in a romantic relationship.”
Others suggested that the poster should leave her husband and find someone she really loves.
enbrr advised: “You are 26 with no kids. Please let yourself actually find happiness before it’s too late. Divorce is going to get more appealing and MUCH more difficult as times goes on. THIS IS THE TIME to take control over your own life. “Meh” is not the main emotion you should have towards your spouse. You may be ok with it for now but this is going to eat away at you.
“The way you feel towards him I felt towards my ex. I actually didn’t think I was capable of deeply loving someone. I finally left and then met my current partner…and all I can say is that love that you don’t feel now is out there.”
PotentialRelevant417 isn’t the only one to share her relationship troubles with Reddit. One mom-to-be recently took to the popular r/AmITheA**hole subreddit to ask if she was in the wrong for not wanting her husband in the delivery room. While the internet recently blasted a man for demanding his wife heat up his dinner for him instead of caring for their baby, and criticized a “modern day St. Patrick” who released her partner’s snake into the wild.
Newsweek has contacted PotentialRelevant417 for comment.