The internet has come to the support of a man who claimed in a now-viral post that he told his girlfriend to “cover up” around her staff.
Posting to Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” forum on Monday under the username u/f4faa, the man said: “my [girlfriend] likes to walk around home barely wearing anything which is fine [awesome even] BUT she does this even when the ‘help’ are around.” The post has received more than 13,000 votes and over 2,000 comments.
The man explained that his girlfriend “comes from a wealthy background,” adding that she grew up with “maids, chefs, chauffeurs, etc.” But, according to his post, she might be a bit too comfortable around those who work for her.
“For example last month her family hired a new driver for her. He stopped by the apartment to introduce himself. She was only wearing underwear. Keep in mind, this is the FIRST time they’ve met in person,” he said.
“She does this all the time. She doesn’t think she needs to wear any decent amount of clothes at all when people that work for her are around. She will casually walk around wearing just a thong OR a tiny crop top [just a crop top, nothing else],” he continued.
He also claimed that she refuses to cover up when strangers come to the door.
“One time she opened the door for the delivery guy wearing only a see-through gown. You could see everything,” he wrote.
When he first told her that he was uncomfortable with the way she dressed around her staff, she laughed it off and accused him of being jealous. But in a more recent conversation about the issue, she got upset.
“She said that she doesn’t understand why I care what her staff thinks and that it never even crossed her mind that this is inappropriate,” he said. “She told me that she only does this in the comfort of her home and not in front of ‘actual people’ i.e. people that don’t work for her.”
Now, the girlfriend’s friends think the man is “weird” for telling his girlfriend to cover up.
Many commenters, however, felt that the man was right to demand that his girlfriend wear proper clothing around her staff.
“She is sexually harassing those that she is in a position of power over. She is disgusting. I feel for them, they are having to put up with it for a paycheck and may not know their rights,” wrote u/ohno_spaghetti_o.
“NTA [not the a**hole]—when she gets sued for sexual harassment, she’ll understand that she was wrong,” added u/Greedy-Text1251.
According to Nolo, “around 75 percent of people who experience workplace harassment fail to bring it up with a manager, supervisor, or union representative.”
One reason many people don’t report sexual harassment when it occurs is that “employees who are subjected to inappropriate behavior aren’t clear on when it crosses the line into illegal harassment,” said Nolo.
The legal encyclopedia went on to explain that various actions, such as “repeated compliments of an employee’s appearance,” “making sexual jokes” or “discussing one’s sex life in front of an employee,” among other behaviors, can be considered sexual harassment.
If an employee feels that they are being harassed, Nolo recommended that they first confront the harasser and then take it up with a supervisor. The website also explained that it’s important for a person to document their claims.
“Start by collecting as much detailed evidence as possible about the harassment. Be sure to save any offensive letters, photographs, cards, or notes you receive. If you were made to feel uncomfortable because of jokes, pin-ups, or cartoons posted at work, confiscate them—or at least make copies,” the site said.
“Also, keep a detailed journal about incidents of harassment,” Nolo continued.
In addition to expressing how inappropriate it is for the Redditor’s girlfriend to be nude around her staff, many were angered by her comments about those she employs.
“Why are you with someone who thinks ‘the help’ aren’t real people?? She sounds incredibly self-centered and inconsiderate to treat people who work for her like their feelings don’t matter at all,” said u/yourlittlebirdie.
“NTA this isn’t really a control issue where you are trying to manage her body. This is an issue where she doesn’t view the people working for her as actual sentient people with feelings and completely disregards how uncomfortable this might be for them,” wrote u/paxparra.
Redditor u/Booklovinmom55 added: “NTA She’s dehumanizing these people. She views people in service jobs as beneath her and so they don’t deserve consideration or respect.”