A woman took to Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” after having a disagreement with her friend who asked her to make her wedding dress for just the cost of the materials.
“So I have a Degree in Fashion which some people think means I can be their personal seamstress,” Redditor u/TiredNeedleandThread wrote in her post, which garnered 10,000 votes. “I’m used to this problem and I don’t mind helping people out but I never work for free.”
She explained that her pregnant friend asked if she could make her wedding dress and shared some of her ideas for what she hoped it would look like. u/TiredNeedleandThread wrote her friend’s visions, though not too complex, were not exactly simple. The Redditor told her she would make the dress for £600, which is equivalent to about $798 USD.
Her friend was shocked by the cost and said she expected u/TiredNeedleandThread to make the dress for free and she would pay for the materials.
“I pointed out how many hours this would take me to do and all the hand embroidery needed, then I explained I was doing this for a quarter of the price I’d charge other people because she’s my friend,” the Redditor wrote.
An article published by Martha Stewart Weddings explained why wedding dresses can be expensive. In the United States, the article notes brides spend an average of $998 on a wedding dress.
Luxurious materials and detail-oriented designs can run up the cost of a gown.
“The process of creating a wedding dress, especially one with embroidery and beading, is not only artistic and creative, but also mathematical and requires great dexterity,” the piece reads.
Embellishments may also drive up the cost of a gown due to the techniques used to create it.
Brides who wait to purchase their wedding dresses can also expect to see a heftier price tag due to a “rush fee.” A dress order closer to the date of a wedding would need to be put ahead of other brides’ orders to be produced on time.
The Redditor’s friend became upset and said u/TiredNeedleandThread did not understand the stress she was under because of the wedding, her pregnancy and finances.
Her friend then told her that the dress should serve as the Redditor’s wedding gift to her and it would look good in her portfolio.
Although she stood firm and does not believe she is being unreasonable to be paid for her work, her friends told her she should not charge her friend for the dress.
While she did not have the support of her friends, commenters supported the Redditor.
“It takes time to do the work,” one commenter wrote. “And you already lowered the price. I don’t like how they tried to use [their] pregnancy to get you to do it for free.”
u/TiredNeedleandThread responded to that comment and noted that some of her classmates would have charged extra because a pregnancy would require more adjustments than usual leading up to the wedding.
A commenter suggested that if the Redditor made the dress for the cost of the materials, it may set a precedent for her other friends who may ask her to make clothing for the same price.
Another wrote the way her friend responded is telling.
“If it were me, I would gracefully withdraw,” they wrote. “Just say ‘I hear that this is more than you wanted to spend. I’ve offered the best price I can give for the time it would take me—if it doesn’t work for you, that’s OK. You could try…’ and give her a few referrals.”
Many also criticized the Redditor’s friend for suggesting that if she were to make the dress, it would strengthen u/TiredNeedleandThread’s portfolio.
“‘Looks great in portfolio’ isn’t going to pay the bills,” one wrote.