Most family members assume they have a guaranteed invite to a relative’s wedding but one future bride took to Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole to share she did not want to invite her aunt due to a decade-old incident.
In her post, which has 10,000 interactions, u/Ok_Imagination5621 wrote she was talking to her sisters and mother about the guest list and said she did not plan to invite her aunt, who was referred to as “L.”
An article published by The Knot stated that it can be complicated for a couple to exclude a potentially toxic family member, but it may be worth it if their presence would ruin the day.
Some appropriate reasons that were mentioned to exclude a family member from the wedding day include if they make people in attendance uncomfortable if there is no way to salvage the relationship and if the couple is paying for the wedding themselves.
u/Ok_Imagination5621 wrote her father died when she was a teenager. At his funeral, she said she saw L with other mourners. Not feeling up to a conversation, she gave her a small smile and waved before walking away.
“As I was walking to the car, my Aunt T walked up to me in a huff and angrily told me to go apologize to L for what I did,” u/Ok_Imagination5621 wrote.
She learned L told T she gave her a dirty look and told her that no one wanted her there as she walked by.
When u/Ok_Imagination5621 told T that didn’t happen, T’s demeanor changed and said, “Oh well that’s just L, she likes to stir the pot. Never mind babe.”
Later that day, another aunt, “K,” called u/Ok_Imagination5621 to tell her she needed to apologize to L. She told K the same thing she told T, who said L likes to stir the pot. Her mother asked her what was wrong when she found her visibly frustrated.
“I explained what happened with T and K and without missing a beat she says ‘oh that’s just L, she likes to stir the pot,'” u/Ok_Imagination5621 wrote. “I didn’t get an apology from T or K for yelling at me for something I didn’t do and I’m pretty sure my mom and aunts have had conversations about L’s behavior before because all of them used the exact same phrase and each of them just brushed off what she did.”
Since then, u/Ok_Imagination5621 wrote she has not tried to build a relationship with L, stating she was not interested in socializing with someone who enjoys starting “drama.”
Though she has established that boundary, she wrote that her sisters and mother told her she shouldn’t exclude her aunt from the wedding due to an incident that occurred about a decade ago. She wrote that is starting to believe she is wrong for not inviting her.
However, commenters supported u/Ok_Imagination5621’s decision.
“She is a known stirrer of the pot, and you don’t feel like having pot stirring activities at your wedding,” u/LuvMeLongThyme commented. “Now, everybody else can excuse your aunt because ‘that’s just how she is.’ But, you OP, are an adult, and you don’t have to take any nonsense from her.”
u/Sad_Ring_3373 echoed the sentiment and shared a line she uses with her family.
“You are free to tolerate as much of their bulls**t as you care to, just as I am free to tolerate as little of it as I care to.”
Some wondered why family members believed what L told them the day of the funeral and criticized them.
“T,K and OP’s mother, along with other family members I assume, are enabled L,” u/hdmx539 wrote. “They need to call her out on her lies and give her proper consequences.”