A woman who has been excluded from Mother’s Day celebrations by her mother-in-law has sparked debate online.
In a viral post shared on Tuesday on discussion site Mumsnet, user Mamas123 said: “I haven’t been invited for a weekend away or meal for Mother’s Day by [my] in-laws?”
Explaining the back story, the poster said: “I didn’t attend [my] sister-in-law’s wedding as I had a sickness bug. I apologized and I was truly gutted that I could not attend. But ever since then, I have not had any contact with them (we usually message), and now I’m not invited to Mother’s Day? My other half has been [invited].
“I don’t know how to feel about this or what to do. How would you feel, and would you say anything to your other half, sister-in-law or mother-in-law?”
With over 150 replies, Mumsnet users were left divided about the story. One commenter said: “Does [your] sister-in-law have a partner and are they invited? If not then I’d assume it’s a meal for mother-in-law with her children,” and another agreed: “Are other partners invited or are they assuming they’ll spend Mother’s Day with their own mothers?”
But the poster later confirmed that her sister-in-law’s husband and child would also be attending, and clarified: “I am usually invited to these things. We usually have Christmas at mine. I do think they are holding it against me. It’s tricky talking to my other half about it as he lives with [my] sister-in-law and I’m worried it would cause family issues.”
But other users were determined that the woman should have an invite. One commenter wrote: “[Your] other half should be including you and if not he is accepting you as not part of his family. Time for a serious conversation.”
The concept of the in-laws has been a long-standing topic of conversation—and a key basis for jokes—for decades, but our relationship with our partner’s family might be more important than we think.
Terri Orbuch, a psychologist and research professor at the University of Michigan, conducted a 26-year longitudinal study into family ties and marital stability. Beginning the study in 1986 with 373 couples, Orbuch followed up with the couples over the years to look into varying elements of relationship stability. The study found that when a husband reported having a close relationship with his wife’s parents, the risk of divorce decreased by 20 percent. In contrast, where the wife reported having a close relationship with her husband’s parents, the risk of divorce was seen to increase by 20 percent.
Another commenter agreed with others and wrote: “I guess see what your other half says, but if he is happy to let them exclude you after you usually being invited, and ignore you, then it’s probably the end of the road.”
Last week, the internet backed a Redditor who played a prank on their mother-in-law who kept calling in the middle of the night.