An anonymous woman has gained attention online with a popular post alleging her partner cheated on her with her best friend.
The woman claimed to have been with her fiancé for 12 years and to have two children, 7 and 4, with him. They were planning to marry in just under 11 weeks, she wrote in the popular Mumsnet forum post.
After she shared her dilemma and requested advice from others, the forum was flooded with messages of anger at the man and suggestions for the wife to gain legal advice.
“What’s worse is that it was with one of my best friends and he’s been texting her, meeting her for over six weeks. Today is day two of all of this and I am crushed to pieces,” she wrote. “I don’t know how I will ever cope.”
Originally, the fiancé told her he simply “didn’t love [her] the same” but she was left with a gut instinct that there was another woman. “My gut was on overdrive but I said is there someone else he told me not to be so paranoid and ridiculous… I left,” she wrote.
“Monday night I received all I needed to know from someone, I drove my car at 3.30am to the house, he was in bed, hanging out of the window wouldn’t let me in.
“It went on for 15 minutes of denial, I eventually told him I knew everything. He started blubbering like a baby. I already knew who it was with as I just had a feeling that in our friend group chat he was constantly referencing her.
“He said that they have a connection and there is a possibility that they will try and make a go of it. That really hurt. The worst.”
According to research from the University of Colorado Boulder’s Department of Psychology and Neuroscience, over 53 percent of those who reported having extramarital sex admitted to being unfaithful with someone they knew well already, including a close friend.
Around a third reported to be with someone known but not especially close, like a neighbor or co-worker.
Research also showed that affairs were consistently reported more frequently by men.
Given how common such close-hitting affairs can be, the response was heated among forum users, many of whom advised her to seek legal guidance, despite his promises. According to the woman, her fiancé had promised to “not leave [her] in the lurch” by not selling the house and keeping their account as a joint one.
“Lawyer up,” instructed one user. “You need to see a solicitor because typically cheats seem generous when they’re first found out but quickly turn very mean.”
“Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security by him being magnanimous over money/property now,” commented another. “He won’t stay that way, they never do. Get legal advice quickly and start shoring up your financial position before he turns nasty.”
“That is so awful… unfortunately based on past experience of being cheated on by a long-term partner (also with someone I thought was a friend, although we didn’t have children) I don’t think you will ever hear the full truth from either of them. It’s kind of like a PR exercise while they try to protect their reputations, ‘what is the least worst way we can frame what we did to our mutual friends?,'” recounted another user who related to the situation.
“When it happened to me I think I was too quick to make peace and just wanted it all to go away, so my advice is don’t do what I did and give him what he wants. When it comes to practical things like money, house, things… be equally ruthless in protecting your own interests.”