Internet Hilariously Reacts to Law Student’s Story About Shaving To Pass Surprise Drug Test

Thousands of internet users were stunned after a story about a law student shaving their entire body to pass a drug test went viral on Wednesday.

In a post boasting over 11,000 votes and 1,000 comments, Redditor u/Enoyafish detailed their Christmas cocaine bender, and the fear they experienced at the prospect of a potential drug test. Posted in Reddit’s popular r/tifu, aka “Today I F****d Up,” u/Enjoyafish’s viral post drew the attention of other Redditors, and inspired a thread of hilarious reactions.

Explaining that they had used a significant amount of cocaine on Christmas, the Redditor said that when they were leaving a law class, the class’s lecturer reminded students that they would need their identification badges the next day.

“As I was leaving class yesterday the lecturer said ‘Drugs tests tomorrow guys so make sure you bring your ID badges,” u/Enjoyafish wrote.

u/Enjoyafish said they frantically learned as much as they could about how long the cocaine they used on Christmas would be detectable in a drug test. Including that they were confident they would pass a urine test, OP said they took extreme action when they learned that cocaine is detectable on hair for months after the last use.

“I shaved my head, body hair, and even my eyebrows,” they wrote. “I drew the line at plucking my eyelashes.”

According to the American Addiction Centers, cocaine use can be detected with various forms of drug screening, and the substance can linger depending on which type of drug test is used. While cocaine can be detected in the blood and the saliva for up to two days after the last use, the American Addiction Centers report that the substance can be detected in urine for up to three days (this time period varies for heavy cocaine users) and is potentially detectable in a hair sample for months to years.

Although federal statutes on drug-free workplaces require some federal employers to drug test employees, most private employers are not required to have a drug-free workplace policy of any kind.

Drug test
One Redditor said their Christmas cocaine binge led to embarrassing consequences weeks later.
Sergey Mikheev/iStock / Getty Images Plus

In November, detailed a Reddit thread detailing drug use among practicing lawyers and law school students. Including a handful of comments from the thread, revealed prevalent drug use throughout the legal industry and the included comments painted a picture of lax drug testing requirements.

Still, u/Enjoyafish made it clear they believed they were subject to a drug screening, and that they had shaved every hair on their body in hopes their recent cocaine use would not be detected. But in a hilarious turn of events, u/Enjoyafish said they were wrong about the drug test and suffered an embarrassing experience.

“Today’s lesson was on drugs tests and we needed our ID badges to enter the building as it was after hours,” they wrote. “Everyone was looking at me … I just said I fell asleep at a party and someone shaved my eyebrows.”

Many Redditors commenting on the viral post shared their employers’ drug-testing policies and encouraged OP to avoid using cocaine. Others used u/Enjoyafish’s drug test debacle as an opportunity for humor.

“I guess by nearly shaving everything off, OP is only showing himself as a potential candidate for a positive result,” Redditor u/ElectricClub2 wrote.

“Yeah going in with all your hair shaved is suspicious as hell,” u/Zanglirex2 added. “Way to sign yourself up for future random drug tests.”

Pointing out an obvious flaw in the original poster’s plan to pass a drug test by shaving their whole body, u/RamenJunkie suspected that the original idea may have resulted from what it was trying to prevent.

“Honestly, this solution of shaving your body hair kind of sounds like the kind of ‘good idea’ someone on drugs would come up with,” they wrote.

A handful of Redditors explained that some employers consider shaving body hair to prevent the detection of illegal substances the same thing as a failed drug test, one commenter offered a possible solution to u/Enjoyafish’s problem.

“The way to do it is to shave all your hair and then glue your dog’s sheddings over your body,” u/scifishortstory said, punctuating an already-bizarre Reddit thread.


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