Few things are more sacred in a relationship than not skipping an episode ahead in the boxset you’re watching together, or only buying yourself fast food on the way home.
Which is why one man has openly admitted he “f***** up” after lying to his wife for more than a decade, a fact which has come back to bite him after she discovered his secret.
Redditor Moocow870 confessed all to the site’s TIFU forum, after his heinous ruse involving Gummy Bears was discovered.
The dad revealed his wife “hates” lime and orange flavored candies, while he “loves” them.
So they developed a sharing system of candies, as he explained: “So, she passes on the orange starburst to me. She passes the orange and green skittles to me. She passes the orange and green Gummy Bears to me. This has been happening for 13 years.
“What she doesn’t know is that the green Haribo Gummy Bears are actually strawberry. Shortly after we married, for one reason or another, I looked at the back of the Haribo Gummy Bears package and discovered this.
“So I haven’t said anything for 13 years. Every time we get Gummy Bears, she gives me the orange and green (strawberry.) I’ve never said a word. I’ve enjoyed eating my little lies.”
Despite making the discovery, he kept his mouth shut and let his wife feed him all the green Gummy Bears—aka the strawberry flavored candies.
Everything was fine he said “until last night,” when his wife randomly looked at the back of the candy packet.
Sharing the moment his web of lies came crashing down, he wrote: “But after a few minutes, I saw her looking at the back of the bag. Then I saw her eyes get REAL BIG.
“She turned to me and asked if I’ve known that the green bears were strawberry. She always thought they were lime.
“I was honest and nodded my head yes. The look of betrayal was unreal…. She asked how long I’ve known, and I was honest. I told her as long as we’ve been married.”
The fallout from the deception has seen the man resign himself to buying his own sweets from now on, as he added: “She quit giving me the Gummy Bears she didn’t like. She was even eating the orange ones out of spite. I don’t think I’ll get any more Gummy Bear discards after this.”
His confession, shared on Friday, has already amassed more than 80,000 upvotes, and sparked a wild discussion online.
Redditors were divided with some finding the episode hilarious, while others claimed it was indicative of something more sinister.
And a few pointed out the husband would be back in the dog house when his wife finds out green Skittles are in fact apple flavored.
Commenting on the post, TinktheChi said: “She’s even eating the orange ones out of spite. You’re both hilarious. You’ve got a great union.”
Bearbarebere joked: “OP tomorrow: AITA for lying about skittles? My wife kicked me out. Help.”
Broken_Exponentially admitted: “Yea, I legit lost it at ‘spite eating my favorites'”
Akaioi reckoned: “The worst part is explaining this to the marriage counselor without both spouses melting from embarrassment…”
Moneybags729 said: “Lmao this is such a legitimate marriage dispute it’s ridiculous. I’ve been married since 2010 and my wife wouldn’t be thrilled about something like this either.”
Annoyingcrow469 asked: “A marriage so devoid of meaning or substance that the most trivial of things can cause a problem?”
“OP is going to be the first person to lose everything in a divorce on the grounds of aggravated candy deception,” AbsolutelyUnlikely commented.
CecilleBiNight warned: “You are really playing with fire.”
Gzombiez pointed out: “I mean…if she never asked, then you never lied. Omitting information is totally different.”
Hailelmo added: “Dude I hear about guys that cheat on their wives but what you did…. Only god can save you now.”
Although an excerpt from Digiwano’s long comment warned: “…I’m not judging the relationship as a whole, relationships have varying levels of power dynamics and some people regardless of gender seek a more submissive or dominant role in the relationship, and that’s okay if everyone is happy with it.
“Also, I’m not saying that this one incident absolutely means there’s a problem in the relationship, but if it’s part of a pattern of larger behaviors, it can certainly be indicative of the underlying issue…”
While someone claiming to be the wife, named Thebookwasbetter13, also popped up in the thread, saying: “The wife here. We even got some Christmas ones that were all green and red for our kids’ stockings and I said, “Hey! They didn’t make the green ones lime in these!
“They should always do that.” He didn’t say a word. We have two kids and matching tattoos, so I guess we will just have to work through this.”
While the pair didn’t specify where they’re based, in the US there were 2,015,603 marriages in 2019, the last year the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shares figures for.
That worked out to 6.1 per 1,000 population, with the number of divorces 746,971, for 45 states and D.C. this works out to 2.7 per 1,000 population.
Newsweek reached out to Thebookwasbetter13 for comment.