Internet roasts Ted Cruz for his inability to get out of a big rig during his trucker convoy ride-along | Texas News | San Antonio

U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz looks sad as the judges rate his truck dismount. - WIKIMEDIA COMMONS / GAGE SKIDMORE

  • Wikimedia Commons / Gage Skidmore
  • U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz looks sad as the judges rate his truck dismount.

For all of his efforts to remake himself as a chest-beating macho populist, Princeton-educated U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz just can’t seem pull it off with any modicum of authenticity.

In case anyone needed further evidence after the Texas GOPer’s attempts to display basketball athleticism and pimp mullet merchandise, new video of his awkward attempt to get out of an 18-wheeler suggests the closest he’s ever come to a big rig was watching Smokey and the Bandit while shoveling Fritos into his pie hole.

You may remember that Cruz last week joined a group of truckers opposing vaccines, masks and other affronts to freedom as they converged on Washington. The so-called “People’s Convoy” even let Teddy ride shotgun in one of the rigs. (No word on whether the driver let him honk the horn or piss in a jug during his time in cab.)

However, video evidence of Cruz’s dismount from said cab has certainly delighted the denizens of Twitter. From the senator’s borderline panicky struggle to lower himself onto the ground to the nonchalant way he attempts to zip his pants back up with nobody noticing, the clip is 28 seconds of unintentional comedy gold.  

“Jesus TruckNutz-Festooning Christ. The only thing missing is Michael Dukakis’ tank helmet,” noted political site Daily Kos, which first reported on the clip. “How much you wanna bet that beard is, like, 98% glued-on gibbon pubes?”

Twitter’s army of Ted trashers had similar fun skewering him for the timid dismount and subsequent fly fiddling. One even created a special meme that sums up the Cruz ride-along experience in truly sublime manner.

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