A Redditor has come under fire for admitting in a now-viral post that she confronted a bride and groom during their wedding reception over the event’s seating chart.
Posting to Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” forum on Sunday, the Redditor—whose account has since been deleted—explained that the groom was her father-in-law.
So far, the post has received more than 8,300 up-votes and over 1,700 comments.
The unnamed Redditor shared that she and her husband arrived at the reception to find that they’d been seated at the same table as her estranged mother-in-law. According to the post, neither the Redditor nor her husband has spoken to the mother-in-law in three years because she “stopped answering messages and stopped reaching out.”
Despite her husband being “over” the fact that he no longer has a relationship with his mother, the Redditor said he felt uncomfortable being near her at the table. So, the Redditor said she approached the head table to see if the seating chart could be changed.
“I went up to the head table and asked FIL [father-in-law] and the bride why we were next to MIL [mother-in-law] (I did congratulate them first),” the Redditor wrote. “FIL looked like he was trying really hard not to smile and said to ask the bride, she did the seating chart.
“She said it is just normal to put people with people they know. I asked if we could be moved because she was making my husband so uncomfortable. FIL asked what she was doing and I admitted nothing, and he told us to leave him alone and stop bothering them at their wedding,” the Redditor continued.
When the Redditor went back to her seat, however, she found that her husband wasn’t eating due to the stress of the evening.
“I just snapped and told my husband that we shouldn’t stay when we have been disrespected and if his dad wanted us there he wouldn’t have put us at that table,” the Redditor said.
“He agreed and we went, but I heard that FIL and his wife were talking bad about us to MIL after we left and saying we are selfish…” the Redditor concluded.
According to The Knot, it’s proper etiquette for a wedding guest to respect the bride and groom’s seating chart.
“The couple has done their due diligence with the seating arrangement and has taken into consideration, life stages, personalities and dynamics. Never, should a guest move place cards or rearrange the seating chart at their own whim. It is an extreme faux pas. Instead, check the seating chart and take a seat where you’ve been placed,” the company said.
“If, for any reason, you feel severe discomfort at your seat, turn to a planner or coordinator to discuss what they can do for you,” the advice on the Knot’s website continued.
Commenters felt that while the Redditor and her husband had every right to feel uncomfortable with the situation, she was wrong to approach the bride and groom during the reception.
“You did this at the wedding? The MIL was ignoring the circumstances and being a good guest. You were 100% YTA [you’re the a**hole],” said user EvilGreebo. “If your husband couldn’t stand the situation you should have made some kind of polite excuse and left. Holy h**l.”
More than 15,000 commenters up-voted u/EvilGreebo’s comment in agreement.
“YTA for bringing your section of family drama into someone else’s wedding. There’s a good chance they didn’t know where else to put you. Seems like your MIL was able to suck it up but you couldn’t. Weddings having dancing, mingling—lots of opportunities to move around and not be at the table all night,” wrote user little_paper_birds.
“To approach the bride and groom and demand action straight away… is ridiculous. What did you expect that they get up, usher you and your husband to a new table after asking those seated there to get up and relocate?” added user Voidg. “What you should have done is leave if you couldn’t have found somewhere else to relocate.”