A woman has taken to the internet to ask for advice over whether she was “ungrateful” about her boyfriend’s efforts on her birthday, which included a home-cooked meal and a DIY cake.
The 33-year-old shared her disappointment to Reddit’s popular Am I The A**hole forum, where her post has amassed more than 17,000 upvotes since being shared on Sunday.
Under the username @_dissapointment_6, she began by explaining she’s been dating Alex for nearly three years. He has a 13-year-old daughter who lives with him.
Alex, 34, made a six-figure income when they met, and he “had a decent house in a fine neighborhood,” while she worked a “slightly lower paying job.”
But the tables turned when 18 months ago he lost his job, and as a result had to take on a much lower-paying position.
After moving in with the father and daughter five months ago, the birthday girl claimed she’s “helped a lot with the bills, usually half or more of them.”
But as her big day loomed, she told her boyfriend she wanted to “celebrate at a nice restaurant near us,” which was closed.
“There was another one a little closer to us, although it was more expensive. I suggested going there for my birthday to Alex, and he said that he couldn’t afford to pay for dinner there and if we went we would need to split the bill. I was a little upset but he said he would make something himself.
“The cake I wanted was, admittedly, somewhat expensive. I pointed it out to him, and he said again that he didn’t think he could afford it with Christmas coming up and we’d have to go half. I told him I wasn’t paying for a cake for my own birthday, and he said he’d see what he could do,” she wrote.
When her birthday arrived, she shared the effort her boyfriend went to, writing: “He made dinner, and it was quite good, better than most meals we eat, although not as good as what it would be at a restaurant.
“However, when he brought the cake out it was just something he had made himself.
“He said he was sorry he couldn’t afford the nicer cake but he had made this one and his daughter had helped.”
She put on a brave face, but later confronted him about it, saying: “I pretended to enjoy it but after I told him that I was hoping for a slightly nicer cake. He said he had tried his best and he couldn’t spend the money he had set aside for bills on a cake.
“I guess his daughter heard because now he’s also saying that I made her upset after she helped make it. He keeps saying I should apologize to her and say that I really liked it.”
People have almost unanimously branded her the a**hole of the situation, with Tortoiseshell007 writing: “I was waiting for some reveal about how horrible the cake was, but no, the horrible factor was that the cake was homemade. Wtf???”
Sqoo-5900 joked: “She’s as shallow as a kids paddling pool!”
IPetdogs4U pointed out: “First and only thing she really says about the guy is what his salary was. She seems to have no concept of a whole bunch of other really great characteristics the guy appears to possess.”
SomethingNew6718 wrote: “YTA – honestly, I would much rather have a homebaked cake than a shop bought one. I get you’re disappointed, but it sounds like your SO went to a huge amount of effort to make your birthday special within budget and, to be blunt, I think you’re being a bit of a brat about it.”
Veryjustok asked: “Yeah and if the guy didn’t have the money what was she expecting him to do!? Pull it out of his butt? Take out a loan? I’m so confused. Since when does money trump EFFORT!?”
While SleazeballGang added: “One of the first things she mentioned about him was his salary. No mention of whether he’s a good man, father, etc… Nope. Just: ‘Well he used to be able to buy me X, Y, and Z, so….’ And women like her wonder why they can’t find ‘good men.'”
Statistics from a poll conducted by OnePoll, in conjunction with Evite, published by SWNS, found on average men spend $164.32 on parties and gifts for a partner.
The stats, from September, showed women spend slightly less, a total of $117.25 on birthday celebrations for their other half.
And they also found 17 per cent of Americans plan their own birthday party, to avoid disappointment as they don’t trust their partner will do it justice.
Newsweek reached out to @_dissapointment_6 for comment.