Commenters quickly came to the defense of one 25-year-old woman on Wednesday after she called out her roommate’s “double standard” in a viral internet post.
In a Reddit post titled, “AITA for telling my roommate her mom can’t stay at our apartment,” Redditor u/trianglearm detailed a heated encounter with her roommate that left both parties upset and confused. Initially posted in Reddit’s widely-popular r/AmITheA**hole subreddit, the viral post has received nearly 11,000 votes and 98 percent upvotes.
Beginning the post by explaining that she and her roommate met at nursing school and have been friends for the last five years, u/trianglearm said that a couple of months ago, there had been some tension between the two.
The Redditor said that, last October, when she informed her roommate her father would be visiting for two days and staying on an air mattress on her bedroom floor, her roommate said no, and recommended the father stay in a hotel. u/trianglearm added that her roommate claimed she “didn’t want the apartment cramped,” and that her father, much to her dismay, stayed in a hotel.
Now, u/trianglearm said the situation has flipped, and that her roommate recently requested to host her mother in the apartment for an entire week.
“My friend informed me that her mom is coming to visit and is planning on staying a week… at our apartment,” she wrote. “I was confused and said ‘she’s not staying at [a] hotel?'”
“I called her out on it and said that my dad was only coming for 2 nights and she didn’t want him here, and that her mom is staying for a WEEK,” she added.
While websites like Neighbor and Rent provide young adults with advice for navigating living with a roommate, there are no clear guidelines for what to do when a roommate wants their parent or parents to stay in a shared apartment.
However, based on numerous Reddit threads and Quora inquiries by people in similar situations, there is a seeming consensus that having parents stay in apartments is a foolproof strategy to create issues and rifts between roommates. Despite recommendations to communicate openly and well before any parental hosting, Redditors and internet users living under a myriad of conditions agree that hosting parents in shared apartments is sure to create tension.
According to u/trianglearm, so will double standards. In her original post, the Redditor revealed her roommate’s reasoning for not wanting the original poster’s father to stay at the apartment, and subsequent justification for hosting her mother.
“She told me that having my dad stay and having her mom stay are completely different because it’s a female and not a male,” u/trianglearm wrote. “I got really upset with my roommate and told her that I didn’t want her mom to stay at our apartment and she needed to stay at the hotel like my dad had to.”
“My roommate is now mad at me, but I feel like I’m justified in being upset at the double standard,” she added.
Many commenters on the viral post agreed.
In the post’s top comment, which has received over 15,600 votes, Redditor u/bakinkakez showed support for the original poster, and said that if one parent is prevented from staying in the apartment, all parents should be prevented from staying in the apartment.
“If the rule is no air mattress campouts, then no air mattress campouts,” they wrote. “Mom can stay in a hotel.”
Redditor u/Avebury1, who received over 6,700 votes on their comment, assured u/trianglearm that she was not wrong for stopping her roommate’s mother from staying in her apartment.
“[Not the a**hole],” they wrote. “Your roommate is a hypocrite.”
“There is also a big difference between 2 nights and a week,” they added.