Internet Troll Urges Aspen To Implement “No Snowboarding Sections”

Aspen Snowmass Trail Map • Piste Map • Panoramic Mountain Map

^Aspen Snowmass trail map

I had to check the date at least five times before I proceeded with writing this article.

I just wanted to make sure that it was in fact April 13th, and not April 1st, because this was just a little too good to be true.

Thankfully, for all of our sakes, it’s real, and now you can laugh along with me at the absurdity I’m about to show.

Here’s the background info:

Aspen Snowmass published an awesome story about climate change activism to their social media accounts.

The post explains how the mountain turned an old coal mine that emits large amounts of methane gas into a clean energy source. It’s a really cool initiative that I’ve somehow never heard about until now.

Check it out below:

Sounds all well and good, right? Think again.

Some internet troll was so triggered by climate change that he used a classic ‘whataboutism’ that came so far out of left field that I nearly spat my coffee all over my computer screen.

The troll, who I will not name (you can find his comment in the original Aspen Snowmass post if you’re really keen on finding out who he is), decided to take this time air his grievances against snowboarders.

Here’s his full comment in response to the Aspen Snowmass post above. You just can’t make this shit up.

Let’s break this down. This guy, we’ll call him Jerry 😉, hates snowboarders SO MUCH that he legitimately thinks that they cause more accidents on the mountain than skiers.

Was Jerry born in 1925, or am I going crazy?

I guess there just really are people out there that still hate snowboarders. I thought we’d evolved from the days in the 80’s were stuck-up rich white skiers would complain about rascal-hooligan snowboarders on the hill, but apparently I was wrong…

Does Jerry actually believe this, or has he just committed this long to the bit that he can’t turn back? I’m honestly not sure.

I just can’t get over the fact that he thinks that Aspen Snowmass, one of the most recognizable names in the global ski industry, should limit snowboarders to certain parts of the mountain.

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AND he believes it so deeply that he took the time to comment on their social media page in hopes that he could get the ball rolling on this wet dream fantasy of his… it’s just… I don’t even know how to put it into words.

I’m honestly star struck by Jerry. I didn’t know his kind still existed in 2022. Somebody from the US Ski & Snowboard Hall of Fame needs to conduct a video interview of Jerry for their historical archives.

I’m a skier, and I think snowboarding is cool. I think snowboarders are cool. I think we should all be able to enjoy the mountain together.

With that being said- Alta, Deer Valley, and Mad River Glen need to get their shit together.

They should allow snowboarding. Plain and simple.

*drops mic*

Featured Image Credit: Joshua Sukoff on Unsplash 

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