15 December 2021, 17:31
Shrek? Hagrid? Ned Flanders? Checks out to us…
People on Reddit are talking about which fictional character would be the most well-endowed and we can’t lie… some of them are adding up.
The internet is often the starting point of some of the most important debates. But while we were still coming to terms with Pete Davidson and his rumoured, um, substantial package, others were writing entire think-pieces on the size of fictional characters’ penises (c’mon, you’ve definitely thought about it too).
Basically, the debate stems from a Reddit post titled: “Which fictional character probably has a massive weiner?” Then, enter the wild suggestions from commenters – and they came with proof.
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Some of the top contenders include Shaggy from Scooby-Doo, Harry Potter‘s Hagrid, and The Simpsons’ Ned Flanders, who one Reddit user concluded “has that ‘sexy hot dad’ energy and I 100% believe he has an absolute unit”.
Others include Harry Potter‘s Neville Longbottom (nicknamed “Schlongbottom”), The Hulk, The Emperor’s New Grove‘s Kronk and Super Mario Brothers Luigi (sorry Mario, the commenters don’t think you’re packing like that.)
It’s not just animated characters, though. People are convinced Captain America is pretty well-endowed too. Remember that time after the release of Avengers: Endgame when the internet became obsessed with Captain America’s ass? Well, that’s got people thinking that he’s definitely got something more going on under the under the bonnet. One comment read: “Fat ass AND big dick? Sign me tf up!!”
Another Reddit user added: “That’s AMERICA’S schlong!”
RIGHT. That’s enough Reddit for one day…
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What fictional character do you think deserves to be on the list?
This week on the Coming Out Chats podcast, trans activist Charlie Craggs and TikTok superstar NoseBleedFitz open up about their coming out journeys, their experiences accessing health care in the UK, staying in touch with teachers, and drawing strength from the trans community.