Why I’m afraid to order lawn furniture over the internet

The case of the overstuffed mailbox.

My plan was to take the crowbar and finesse it along the side until I hit the back wall, then give it a twist and pull. My hope was that if I got the first package to fall out, it would give me a better angle at the other three packages.

Just another day at my overstuffed mailbox.

I’ve decided if I ever start a moving company, I will only hire former United Parcel Service drivers and US Postal Service workers. Don’t get me wrong, I love these people. Hey, anyone who can fit a blazer, a box of vitamins and a pair of tennis shoes in a mailbox possess a unique skill set. If they were Italian chefs, muffulettas would weigh 37 pounds.

I’m guessing it’s like a UPS vs USPS competition, which one can stuff the most. I imagine them calling each other and saying, “Frank, you gotta get over here and see what Betsy jammed into this mailbox on Calhoun Street…a three-pack of paper towels, two shirts and a pool toy. And she’s going back to the truck for a set of salad tongs. She’s my hero”.  This is exactly why I’m afraid to order lawn furniture over the internet.

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